I know it doesn’t sound like it, but honestly, self-management (once you start to get the hang of it) is fun!
Self-management is a skill that teaches you how to deal with the world in a way that, ultimately, benefits you but also benefits everything and everyone around you.
Learning the Art of Self-Management is like acquiring super-power after super-power.
Except that, instead of learning how to make things happen outside of you (like trying to control what other people do), you learn how to make things happen inside of you (like changing your thoughts). And eventually, influence people.
And the fun part is when you change things inside of you, it impacts the world around you as well in a more powerful and profound way than you could have ever imagined.
But, what makes self-management even more fun and incredible, is that it’s an aggregate of not just one but many super-powers that transform you into a thriving human rather than a drowning human.
Super-powers like how to manage your feelings, your fears, your relationships; your anger, impatience, or sadness; your insecurities, unhealthy habits, or tendencies to self-sabotage.
Notice I say manage, not control?
You need to realize that you cannot, and never will, control external things. They are and should be free to be whatever they are going to be. When you try to control things or people, you create another problem that will blow up in your face 1, 2, 50 years down the road.
Self-management is not about controlling things; it’s about learning how to deal with them better by learning how to deal with yourself.
Things don’t change; YOU change. You become better.
It’s not that you learn to stop the waves; you learn how to surf the waves. And you don’t just learn to surf one wave; you learn how to surf multiple waves, sometimes all at once.
And with time, dedication, and the right teachers and tools, you can become a damn good surfer.
You become a Master.
Things keep and will keep coming at you, but you become like a ninja. Or a Jedi.
Unfazed.
It’s very rewarding to realize when you are standing in a middle of a storm, that you are capable of navigating through it gracefully.
Another fun fact about self-management is that, once you solve your issues with yourself, i.e., learn how to manage yourself, your feelings, actions, and internal dialog… most of the issues you had with the world start to vanish.
And the few that remain, well, they are the ones that should be addressed.
Where self-management all begins
The journey toward this new you begins with you understanding that you can learn new things.
You can change and progress if you accept that you will suck at it in the beginning, but can and will improve with time, practice and attention.
That’s why self-management is an art but also a skill.
It’s an art because self-management is (or can be) about communication and aesthetics. But it’s a skill because it’s something that you can learn (even if you are not born with it), and get better at.
So, what will you choose?
Will you keep floating around aimlessly? Or will you decide to transform your life today by committing to learning and applying self-management skills to your daily (personal) life?
The Self-Management Skills Checklist:
Courtesy of Greg Guevara at Carleton University (Ottawa).
1. Self-Awareness
Self-Awareness is about knowing yourself, honesty, and figuring out what you want. “A goal you choose for yourself is much easier to achieve than one that is imposed on you”.
2. Goal Setting and Planning
Figuring out what you want and the path to get there.
Related posts:
Starting rituals for goal achievement (vs goal setting): a small guide.
How do you make yourself do the things you don’t want to do but know you should do?
3. Positivity
The power of a positive attitude in achieving your goals. Don’t dwell on the negative; see the possibilities.
4. Problem Solving and Flexibility
There will always be things outside of your control and there are always other ways to approach things. Don’t see difficulties as problems, see them as the path to get to what you want.
5. Responsibility and Integrity
You are the one who needs to step up to bring your life on track. You must get into the habit of taking responsibility for yourself and your projects, and build accountability.
6. Communication
Networks are power, and you build stronger networks through better communication skills. Learn to communicate better with yourself and others.
7. Decision making
You cannot stay stuck in indecision-land forever. Actually, you can, and that is most likely why many of us are so unhappy at the moment. Making decisions is always scary but the cost of hesitation is often a higher price to pay.
Related post: How to be okay with your decision? 8 tips to help you make that impossible choice and take action.
8. Self-care
Never forget to take care of yourself. Your allegiance and responsibility should always go to your well-being first.
9. Confidence
You deserve to be here simply because you exist. Recognize that you must give yourself the recognition you crave so much from others.
10. Respect for others
Every person you meet has a purpose in your life. They will make useful contributions and you need to acknowledge and respect their presence.
Are you ready to work on your self-management skills?
