Mental Health, Mindset, Self-care

97 Self-care affirmations for when you don’t love yourself

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Not loving yourself is probably one of the main reasons why you don’t, or no longer know how to, take care of yourself.

Now, self-care affirmations won’t magically make you know how to take care of yourself (although these short phrases are magical in a way; keep reading to find out how).

Daily affirmations, no matter what you are trying to achieve or manifest, are only half the battle but you can use affirmations to help you reprogram your mind and your subconscious so that they stop working against you.

Just like all other personal goals, to create positive changes in your life you will need to first get a clear image of what it is that you want and have a strong why. Second, you will need to assess the limiting beliefs you carry about yourself that stop you from achieving what you want, and change them. Third, you will search for inspiration, guidance, and mentors. And finally, you will need to take action.

As you can see, you will need more than just positive statements to get you to where you want to go. But they are still essential in helping you get there.

Manifesting is also known as co-creating because it’s a collaboration between you and the universe” (Gabby Bernstein).

That being said, self-care affirmations, especially when you make them part of your daily routines, are certainly a powerful tool when it comes to manifesting specific outcomes such as taking better care of yourself, cultivating a positive mindset, or fighting low self-esteem.

Why you need affirmations for self-care

Affirmations are a magical and transformative act. They rewire our brains to see opportunities rather than disasters, limitations, failures, or other negative attributes.

It’s a scientific fact that the hormones of stress down-regulate genes and create disease in the long-term. Human beings, because of the size of the neocortex, can turn on the stress response just by thought alone. By thinking about our problems, we turn on those chemicals. That means that our thoughts can make us sick. So, if it’s possible that our thoughts can make us sick, is it possible that our thoughts can make us well? The answer is: absolutely yes” (Joe Dispenza).

Even before the advent of science, the idea that words have magical power was present in many cultures throughout history. Ancient Hindus, Sikhs, and Buddhists for example used mantras to harness their spiritual powers (Erica Spiegelman).

What we tell ourselves repetitively impacts not only the way we think, but also our actions. “In other words, our thoughts influence how we create our reality” (Psychology Today).

This is why affirmations can help us in regards to altering our subconscious thoughts.

When we hear something often, it makes it more likely that we will believe it. Therefore, repeating a supportive, encouraging phrase gives it power, transforms our beliefs around that thought, and our new belief will make it more likely that we will act in ways that make this affirmation becomes reality (Healthline).

How affirmations work

The key for affirmations to work is repetition. You must say them every day, write them down on sticky notes and put them all over your walls, planners, bathroom mirror, etc. Or even use them as a little reminder on your cell’s home screen.  

These self-care affirmations will never work if you only say them once in a while when you feel like it. They must become part of your daily routine and, based on my personal experience, I’d say for at least 2 to 4 months.

Also, it’s better to say them in the morning, so, ideally, you would incorporate your affirmations into your morning routine.

I’ve written a more detailed post about it here: Affirmations: how to get them right and what to expect?

Not loving yourself

It appears like most of us struggle with repetitive, negative thoughts and low self-esteem.

According to the National Science Foundation, the average person has about 12 000 to 60 000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before” (Psychology Today).

Another study of more than 3 000 adolescent girls has found that 75% of girls with low self-esteem have engaged in “negative activities such as disordered eating, cutting, bullying, smoking, or drinking when feeling bad about themselves” (Psych Alive).

Note that there is no significant difference between men and women when it comes to low self-esteem and not loving ourselves (American Psychological Association).

Furthermore, not only do most of us battle with low self-esteem and negative thoughts, but we also feel unworthy of love, which makes us feel guilty when we do dare to practice self-care (Birchbox).

This means that not loving ourselves leads us to:

  1. neglect self-care practices;
  2. feel like we’re doing something wrong when we do try to practice self-care; and
  3. in some cases, it leads us straight in the opposite route, which is self-harm.

So, if you want to practice self-care or put self-care at the center of your daily habits, then you will need to cultivate more positive thoughts.

By changing the negative thoughts and beliefs you carry about yourself, the following self-care affirmations will help you create positive change in your life.

And, since you are probably struggling with feelings such as low self-esteem or not feeling worthy of love, I’ve also sprinkled a few self love affirmations in the list.

self-care affirmations_ affirmations for self-care
They myth of self-care (Image from Canva)

What is self-care?

Before we move on to the 97 self care affirmations, I want to take a moment to address what self-care is and what self-care is not.

According to the dictionary, self-care refers to “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress”.

I sort of stumbled upon the concept of self-care on my journey out of depression and toward mental health. In trying to heal both my mind and my body, I finally understood the importance of and the complexity associated with self-care.

Debunking the self-care myth

Self-care is not all bubble baths and champagne glasses in a cozy chalet. It is not instagramable, it is often hard, and at times, ugly or even painful.

  • Self-care means facing your fears and booking that doctor’s appointment you’ve been (avoiding) postponing for the past two years;
  • Self-care means letting people go, even though they’ve been in your life for years because they have a negative impact on your emotional well-being;
  • Self-care means taking up a second job to pay off your mountain of consumer debt, or quitting your job to take care of your mental health.

Self-care is not always “sexy” or “pretty”. You get the picture… I hope.

Self-care is about showing up for yourself every day, no matter how you feel, and that is work. But it’s rewarding work, incredibly hard, but so worth making time for.

Related post: 5 Myths about self-care you need to kill right now

self-care affirmations and myths
Image from Canva

About these self-care affirmations

One last thing. This list of self-care affirmations is heavily inspired by Erica Spiegelman’s book: Rewired: A Bold New Approach to Addiction and Recovery.

Rewired is about addiction, yes, but mostly recovery, self-care, and self-love.

Whether you battle with addiction or not, this book is incredible and has been one of the most important books in my own recovery and mental health journey.

I must have read it 6 times in one year and to this day, it remains one of the most impactful books I’ve read.

Ok, now, what you’ve been waiting for:

97 Self-care affirmations for when you don’t love yourself (yet)

Today is the day for you to begin creating a joyous, fulfilling life. Today is the day to begin to release all your limitations. Today is the day for you to learn the secrets of life. You can change your life for the better. You already have the tools within you to do so. These tools are your thoughts and your beliefsLouise Hay

Daily self-care affirmations:

  1. Today I will take responsibility for my life, my health, and my happiness
  2. Today I will remain true to myself
  3. Today I will honor my feelings and my emotional needs
  4. The more I follow my own heart, the more others love and respect me
  5. I let go of the need to people-please
  6. It is safe to speak my truth
  7. I have the right to take my time
  8. I have the right to take space from others when I need it
  9. I have the right to take a different path
  10. I love myself unconditionally
  11. I allow myself the proper amount of healthy foods, sleep, and enjoyment each day
  12. I am free from negative substances, people, and energy
  13. My actions and values are harmoniously aligned
  14. I surround myself with people who support my authentic self
  15. I honor my inner voice unconditionally
  16. I accept myself
  17. My soul heals through honesty and truthfulness
  18. I acknowledge my abilities and strengths
  19. It’s okay to make mistakes
  20. I find time to exercise every week
  21. I nourish my mind and my spirit on a regular basis
  22. Each day I do one thing to develop my intellect
  23. I take time to discover what is spiritual for me
  24. I allow myself to experience and express emotions with ease
  25. The more I love myself, the more others love me
  26. When I’m troubled, I pause to comfort myself and understand my feelings
  27. I nourish my body with healthy food every day
  28. I enjoy giving to myself as much as others
  29. I accept the things I cannot change
  30. I am strong physically, mentally, and emotionally
  31. Today is my day, there is no person, no event or activity that can destroy this day for me
  32. Today I will take notice of the many positive things this day has to offer
  33. I realize my potential and I honor it
  34. I allow myself to be in a process
  35. I value the journey as much as the destination
  36. It’s okay to make mistakes
  37. I have the courage to follow my dreams
  38. I cultivate new things and new hobbies that I enjoy
  39. I reward myself for a job well done
  40. I am my own best friend
  41. I spend some time alone every day
  42. I am responsible for my own happiness
  43. It is safe to put myself first
  44. I enjoy connecting with nature
  45. I make time for relaxation, meditation, and adequate sleep
  46. I practice healthy boundaries in all my relationships
  47. I cultivate an inner sanctuary of peace and serenity
  48. I take myself on great dates
  49. I am grounded in my senses and in the present moment
  50. I enjoy reading and cultivating new hobbies
  51. I enjoy getting to know myself better
  52. I release the need for drama and chaos in my life
  53. I find joy in the simple things in life
  54. I use my solitude as another channel for self-discovery
  55. I am at peace with time
  56. I set boundaries with ease
  57. I have plenty of time for each task I need to perform today
  58. I allow myself to spend time doing nothing
  59. I release the need for chaos around time
  60. I release the need to procrastinate
  61. I create a schedule of balance and harmony
  62. Self-care takes the highest priority in my schedule
  63. Every day I take time to nurture my creative visions
  64. I reward myself for time well spent
  65. Beginning today, what serves me stays, and what fails me goes
  66. I am careful to balance work with play and socializing with solitude
  67. I acknowledge my needs and communicate them clearly to others
  68. I deserve to be loved and liked
  69. I treat others the way I enjoy being treated
  70. My heart is open and I’m surrounded by people who support me
  71. My relationships nurture my recovery
  72. I only attract positive people into my life
  73. I am safe and well-treated
  74. I have the right to be treated with respect
  75. I excel at setting boundaries
  76. I achieve the perfect balance between self-care and time spent with others
  77. I let go of toxic relationships
  78. Through gratitude, I move from surviving to thriving
  79. Every day I appreciate my life more than ever
  80. Every day I give thanks for all that blesses my life
  81. I sincerely appreciate the support I receive from others
  82. I take the time to appreciate the simple things in life
  83. I pay my bills with gratitude
  84. I gratefully accept all the good that manifests in my life
  85. I honor all that is good about me
  86. I am grateful for my past and use it to uplift others
  87. I am grateful for my body, mind, and spirit
  88. I forgive myself and others with ease
  89. I am generous and loving toward myself and others
  90. I release the need to bully myself or others
  91. I let go of shame and guilt
  92. I use positive language and verbal harmlessness
  93. I accept my vulnerability
  94. I release all resentment, negativity, and remorse
  95. I am worthy
  96. I am beautiful
  97. I am perfect just as I am

Read next: 2-Minute self-care ideas for when you are in a hurry

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About Steph

I am a personal growth/self-management enthusiast. I was able to completely transform my life using everything I share here. I hope this blog helps you transform yours as well.
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