Do you find Christmas stressful? You are not the only one.
Nearly 1 out of 2 American adults say their stress levels increase during the holiday season (November-December) (source: American Psychological Association).
If that’s you, keep reading because it does NOT have to be that way.
Yes, you can prioritize self-care during the holidays, and there is an alternative to feeling stressed and overwhelmed during this time.
It just takes some planning and intention.
Here are 9 habits I adopted in my own life that have made a HUGE difference in how I experience the holidays.
1. Set a Budget (Ideally Months in Advance)
Yes, budgeting is a self-care strategy especially important during the holidays.
You probably don’t realize it but even setting aside just $20/biweekly during the year can make a MASSIVE difference in how you experience the Holidays.
The pressure of buying gifts, the feeling of being too broke to spoil the people you care about, feelings of unworthiness, pressure to go into debt, and worry—all these things cause unnecessary stress specific to the holiday season.
But once I started planning and budgeting for Christmas as early as January, everything changed. Now, when December comes, I’m usually at peace, ready, unfazed.
The Holidays feel a lot more pleasurable, and isn’t that the whole point?
Start saving for the holidays as early as January. Yeah, I said January. Seriously!
But sure, June works too 😊 Just don’t wait until like… October.
This way, you won’t feel like you have to go into debt to buy gifts or compromise on what you want to get for everyone, including yourself.
This is also how you bring intention into the Holidays, and your life in general.
2. Consider Gifting Unexpected Gifts (to Unexpected People)
See point 3. below.
Random acts of kindness are a good way to practice self-care during the holidays. These random gestures make your heart sing, and self-care is all about doing things that are good for your body, your mind, but also your SOUL.
For example, bake cookies for the homeless person you see every day on your way to work.
Make sure you pick someone you notice every day, someone who makes your day brighter with their smile or gentleness, someone who touches your heart. Don’t just buy something random for a random person you don’t give a hoot about, and expect eternal gratitude.
That’s not how it works.
Related post: How to Become Better at Giving Gifts?
3. Consider Non-Material Gifts When Possible
For two years in a row, I gifted only handmade things to random people*. It made my life 10 000 000 X better 😊
*These people were not so “random”, but my choice of recipients could seem surprising. For example, I made a Christmas card with LOTS of love and dried leaves for my 6-year-old cousin in the US (I live in Canada). I had only met her once, but she had given me so much love at a time when I needed love… I wanted to do something nice for her, regardless if she remembered me or not.
Non-material gifts can be deeply meaningful and memorable. They show thoughtfulness and care and have a lasting impact, often more than material items. For example:
- Bake cookies for your landlady.
- Make a handmade card for the lonely barber down the street.
- Wrap a simple gift for someone with love, using beautiful fabric and ribbon you picked with care and love.
4. Try Not to Eat Too Much Junk or Drink Too Much
Just because it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year’s does NOT mean that you have to gorge on buckets of food you normally wouldn’t eat.
If you love that food so much, try to have it more often during the rest of the year. (I mean, nothing stops you from eating roasted turkey in July. Seriously. Nothing).
Also, try eating before going to an event, possibly vegetables, fatty fish, protein, etc. You will be less tempted to fill up on everything you see at dinner, and you will feel better afterward and in the long run.
I started doing this “by accident”, because of my strict anti-inflammatory diet, but it has had such a positive impact on my life and overall well-being!
Don’t wait until you have a chronic illness to try it.
Related post: I Tried the Wahls Diet and Here’s What Happened
5. Don’t Stop Moving Your Body Outside Regularly
No, you’re not “too busy”.
The holidays are not an excuse to avoid self-care. And you should not sacrifice your needs in the name of “duty” (or whatever it is that you make yourself believe you have to do in order to be “a good” mother/friend/daughter/etc.).
We are creatures of this earth. What we need is air, sun, wind, oxygen, and movement to live, thrive, and stay healthy and happy!
Self-care is a commitment, so commit.
Even just a 30–60-minute walk daily will make a big difference in your overall well-being, so just do it.
6. Stay Cool
Remember, Christmas and New Year’s are just arbitrary dates. We are the ones who give them power and meaning in our heads.
Thousands of years ago, these dates had no meaning at all. Even today, in some cultures, Christmas means absolutely nothing.
Don’t let the fact that “it’s the holidays” get to your head.
There is no need to feel depressed because you are not attending a huge family event like your coworker or feel stressed because you can’t buy the new iPad at $1 700 for your daughter.
These dates have the power YOU give them.
7. Don’t Lie
Don’t replace obligations, “musts,” and “have tos” with guilt. Just tell the truth.
If you don’t want to attend a party, say, “Thank you, I appreciate the invitation, but I can’t. Sorry.” Don’t be a pushover and say “Yes” just because you feel pressured to. But don’t make excuses either. And do not lie!
Related post: 16 Ways to Practice Radical Self-Love Daily
Self-care is about loving yourself and protecting your soul and energy. Don’t lie in the name of self-care: be brave, be honest, and tell the truth!
You might not see it, but authenticity is good for your heart and your soul. Being honest and setting boundaries is a vital part of self-care. It helps protect your mental and emotional well-being, reduces stress, and it’s the best foundation for authentic relationships.
Honesty will also prevent the build-up of guilt and resentment that will inevitably come from overcommitting or feeling pressured to do things you don’t want to do.
Trust me; just tell the truth.
8. If You Have Too Many Engagements
During the holidays, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed with invitations and commitments. Here are some tips to help you manage:
- Prioritize: Decide which events are most important to you and focus on those. It helps if you take time to reflect on your values, your goals, what matters the most to you, and the direction you want to give your life. Do check out my Clarity Workbook for step-by-step questions to help you figure this out.
- Say No: It’s okay to decline invitations. Your time and energy are valuable.
Related post: The Surprising Way We Learn to Set Boundaries
- Don’t Feel Pressured to Say Yes Right Away: When invited, don’t feel pressured to say yes immediately. Instead, say, “I’m not sure I can, I’ll check and get back to you.” This gives you time to craft your response thoughtfully.
- Be Honest: If you need to decline, be honest and say, “I’m sorry, I love you, but I’m taking it easy this season” or “I want to rest a bit during the holidays.”
9. If You’re Lonely
The holidays can be tough if you’re feeling lonely, but there are ways to make it a special time:
- Start Planning Your New Year’s Plans ASAP: The sooner you plan, the more you have to look forward to. Yes, it’s fine to start planning the holidays in January. Join a club, make new friends, start a business and meet other entrepreneurs, plan a Christmas fondue and start talking about it to a few people…
- Book a Trip: Instead of adopting the role of a victim, why not take matters into your own hands and plan a solo trip to a place you’ve always wanted to visit but never dared? It could be an exciting adventure! Start planning as early as January! You’ll have something to look forward to all year long AND you’ll have time to prepare and save for it!
- Fly on the 31st: Did you know a lot of people fly on the 31st and it can be cheaper? I did it twice already and it was an interesting experience + it saves you the need to find something to do on New Year’s.
- Create Your Own Event: Plan a Christmas raclette or fondue and invite 2-3 people who might not have plans. Think of it as a cool Tuesday where you’re doing something different with new people. Trust me, there are lots of lonely souls out there, you just have to ask.
- Make It a Wonderful “Me” Day: Whatever “me” time means to you, go all in. Treat yourself! Even if that means a light supper, going to bed early, and ignoring the holiday altogether. If that’s what you want to do, do it! But ONLY do it if it’s what you genuinely want; don’t pretend to not care if you actually care.
- Don’t pretend: If you wish you had plans, make plans. If you wish you were attending a party, ask people you know if you could join them in their holiday celebrations, even if you don’t know them well. (Yes, you can ask that). Don’t pretend to not care if you do. Don’t say: “I hate the holidays and I’d rather stay home alone” if that’s NOT what you want. Lying to yourself and others will get you NOWHERE.
Related Post: The Art of Solitude: 16 Tips for When You Hate Being Alone
Final Words…
I would end this by saying: the best way to prioritize self-care during the holidays is to stick to a routine. And if you don’t yet have one, then perhaps you should take the time to build one.
A routine is a program whose sole purpose is to get you to do the things you know you should do (for true happiness, NOT laziness or comfort) but don’t feel like doing.
It’s what keeps you at peak levels.
The problem with the holidays is that most of us act differently during that time, which creates a spike of stress, excitement, anxiety, worry, debt, overeating, etc.
If you behaved during the holidays as you normally would the rest of the year (assuming you try to maintain healthy habits during the year), you’d have a lot more fun!
Now, your turn: are you able to prioritize self-care during the holidays?
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