16 Ways to Practice Radical Self-Love Daily
When it comes to self-love, I’ve come a long way. Not even five years ago I was writing in my journal: “I feel like I’m a monster, unworthy of love, and that people see me as that”. And here I am today, writing about radical self-love.
The way I see it, radical self-love is a deep, unwavering acceptance and appreciation of oneself. But it goes beyond superficial attributes (like being young and pretty) and societal standards (like having many social media followers or being a high earner).
Radical self-love involves recognizing and honoring your intrinsic worth, embracing your flaws and strengths alike, and treating yourself with the same kindness, compassion, and respect you would offer to a loved one.
It also requires a commitment to self-care, setting healthy boundaries, and prioritizing your well-being and personal growth.
But, most importantly, it’s something you can learn.
So, if you constantly engage in self-criticism and negative self-talk, feel unworthy or ashamed, and worry that all these negative emotions are beginning to have an impact on your health (such as headaches, insomnia, or digestive problems), here are 16 ways to practice self-love daily.
1. Treat yourself really, really well
This means being generous in acts, thoughts, and words with yourself.
Practice patience and kindness for yourself. Be mindful of what you say to yourself (i.e., your self-talk), how you talk about yourself to others, what you do for yourself every day, and your attitude when you practice self-care.
For example, when you cook for yourself, are you negative and frustrated? This is not the best way to go about things.
Believe it or not, the way you treat yourself matters even more than how others treat you.
So, when you do something for yourself, do it with love, as if you were doing it for your favorite niece or a significant other whom you love deeply.
2. Hold yourself to high moral standards
I can’t remember who said this, but I wrote down this quote years ago, and it still follows me to this day.
Do what’s right. Try to consistently demonstrate integrity, honesty, and ethical behavior in your actions.
When you always do the right thing (or at least try to), you free yourself from guilt. When you don’t, you feel guilty, it builds negative self-respect and eats away at your confidence.
And I swear it matters!
Now, when I’m at a crossroads and have to make a decision, for the sake of my peace of mind and self-respect, I always go with the decision that aligns with my values, or the more “moral” one.
And so, whenever I start chastising myself for something I said or did, I quickly remind myself that I did my best and didn’t mean to harm anyone. And I know with all my heart that it’s true.
This has been so freeing and it’s made a huge difference in my ability to love myself and live in a way that is true to who I am, something I had been incapable of doing until a few years ago.
However, it does imply that you must take the necessary time to dig deep within yourself and figure out what your values and true desires are.
3. Never speak ill of yourself
When I talk about myself, I imagine that I’m talking about a friend to someone else, and that this friend can hear my words.
You might think it a bit intense, but you have to be THAT careful about what you say about yourself. That’s because YOU might hear it.
And what you say about yourself matters.
4. Play to your strengths
Do you dress well? Are you creative? Artsy? Intelligent? Compassionate? Kind?
Whatever they are, play to your strengths and flaunt them. Embrace what makes you unique and let those qualities shine in your daily life.
Related post: How To Become a More Attractive Person Naturally?
5. Don’t chase people who aren’t interested in you
I used to be such a validation seeker.
But chasing people who are not interested in you can, and will, impact your self-love and self-respect in a negative way.
It can lead to feelings of rejection, inadequacy, and self-doubt, especially when you don’t get the validation you are so desperate to find.
And even if you do find that validation, you’ll constantly be afraid to lose it and associate your self-worth with what others think.
Instead, focus on building meaningful relationships with those who appreciate and value you.
Invest your energy in people who think you’re great even when you are at your lowest, who support you, and who listen to you when you need a friendly ear.
And if there’s no one at the moment, then don’t compromise on the quality of friendship/relationship you deserve: be that person for yourself. Be that person for yourself even if you have people who love you and support you.
Related post: The Art of Solitude: Useful Tips for When You Hate Being Alone
6. Be interested in YOU
It’s hard to practice radical self-love if you are not interested in yourself, don’t like yourself, or don’t know yourself very well.
So, the question is: are you interested in yourself?
I’m not saying that you should be self-centered and obnoxiously arrogant. What I am saying is: are you genuinely a good friend to yourself?
Do you demonstrate compassion and understanding when it comes to you? Do you forgive yourself but still give yourself the necessary encouragement to improve and become better?
7. Forgive yourself
Do you constantly blame yourself for things that happened in the past, hold on to guilt, or engage in negative self-talk?
Not forgiving ourselves for past actions has serious negative effects on our lives. It diminishes our sense of self-worth and confidence, creates ongoing stress and anxiety, impacts our mental health, and makes it super difficult to form healthy, meaningful relationships.
In my case, it also created such a deep fear of making mistakes that it led me to feel “frozen”: I didn’t dare to do anything anymore and had become a major avoider and procrastinator, unconsciously running away from tasks and responsibilities.
Learn to forgive yourself.
Say it out loud in your morning prayer: “[your name], I forgive you for X, Y, Z.”
Say it, and mean it, every day until one day it becomes true.
8. Learn to let go
You let go with love and compassion. I will write a more detailed post on letting go soon and link it here.
9. Give yourself a hug
Just like hugging in general, hugging yourself has serious health benefits, like lowering your stress, making you feel safe and secure, calming your nervous system, boosting your positivity, and increasing self-compassion.
A good quality hug lasts at least five seconds and ideally 20 (source: Psychology Today).
Hug yourself often; whenever you need one, give it to yourself.
10. Apologize
Apologize to yourself and others when you make a mistake and forgive yourself, even if they do not forgive you. And do it quickly.
A sincere apology acknowledges your actions and takes responsibility, which is crucial for personal growth and healing.
Forgiving yourself afterward ensures that you don’t carry unnecessary guilt, allowing you to move forward with a lighter heart.
Related post: How to Apologize the “Right” Way? 17 Tips for Knowing When and How to Apologize Properly
11. Adopt/build a routine centered around self-care
One of the first and most impactful ways I learned to practice self-love was by slowly figuring out how to take care of myself and building my own self-care routine.
Creating a self-care routine helps reinforce your commitment to your well-being. And there’s nothing like sticking to a commitment you made to yourself, to reinforce your feelings of self-love and self-respect.
This routine can include daily practices like meditation, journaling, exercise, or any activity that nurtures your mind, body, and spirit, or fits your current needs..
12. Stop sacrificing yourself
You need to stop behaving like a victim or martyr in your life, like a powerless person to whom things always happen. And while you’re at it, stop expecting other people to enforce and respect the boundaries you wish for them to respect.
It is up to YOU to enforce the boundaries you need to be happy.
When you keep sacrificing yourself because you think that’s what is expected of you, or worse, you sacrifice yourself and then blame others for your choices, you become bitter and resentful. Recognize that true self-love involves honoring your needs and setting healthy boundaries.
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13. Don’t pursue people; pursue personal development and your interests
I went from being depressed, lost, unhappy, constantly seeking validation, and never satisfied with the numerous accolades I already had, to feeling fulfilled and at peace (when, funnily enough, my life was way less ‘successful’ by societal criteria).
What changed?
I started focusing almost exclusively on self-care, personal growth and passions instead of seeking validation from others.
When you invest in developing your skills, hobbies, and interests, you cultivate a sense of fulfillment and purpose that is hard to describe. You must experience it for yourself!
14. Do one form of physical activity regularly and commit to it
One unexpected side effect of engaging in physical activity is that you quickly realize that, if you want to see results, you must be consistent and stick with it.
And when you start committing to something whose sole purpose is to improve your health and well-being, it also begins to impact your sense of self-respect and self-love.
Whether it’s walking, yoga, dancing, Zumba, weightlifting, cycling, or any other form of exercise, find something you enjoy and stick with it. Not only will it contribute to your overall well-being, but it will also boost your self-esteem.
15. Do something creative to fulfill yourself (rather than consuming things to fill a void)
Have you tried writing, painting, filming vlogs, taking photos, or writing poetry?
Do you think you’d be no good at it?
Well, try anyways.
Creative pursuits are a great way to create a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment.
Instead of seeking temporary satisfaction through mindless consumption (Netflix, food, gossip), try building lasting self-worth and joy by creating something meaningful to you.
Related post: How to Become More Creative Person Even Whithout Any Artistic Skills?
16. Get to know yourself by journaling daily
This is probably the most important thing on this list.
Don’t get scared, but I’d say: try to journal every day for at least a year to truly see the benefits.
Yes, I said a year! But, hey, Try with one week first.
Even if it’s just for five minutes a day, journaling helps you reflect on your thoughts, track your progress, and understand yourself better, fostering a deeper sense of self-awareness and self-love.
Related post: How to Start Journaling and Why You Should
