Minimalist Beauty

How to be more attractive [without wearing more make-up]

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The point of this article is not whether you should or shouldn’t wear make-up to feel more attractive. My point is that your “looks” have little to do with how people perceive you and if they find you attractive or not.

Of course looks matter. But it’s not all that matters, especially if you are looking for ways to be more attractive naturally.

In my opinion, being attractive has to do with 3 main things: each person’s personal preferences, catching the eye, and demonstrating a certain openness to others (the topic of this blog post).

Each person’s personal preferences

Do you know how many times (well, not that many) I’ve been attracted to someone and wasn’t exactly sure why?

And more often than not, they weren’t what you would call “conventionally handsome”, but I don’t know… There was just something about them that resonated with me.

Truth is, we often don’t know what we like until we see it, but I’ll get back to this point a little later in this article.

So don’t sweat it, worry too much or fall into the “I’m not cute”, or “sexy enough” narratives… What will make someone attracted to you can possibly be a mystery, even to them.

Catching the eye

For someone to be attracted to you, they have to see you.

You will not attract anyone if you remain locked up in your bedroom every day watching series without ever speaking to anyone.

And you will not catch the eye if you “blend with the masses” and fear showing your true style and self.

Demonstrating openness

This is the main topic I will be discussing here.

If you think the reason why people are not attracted to you is because you are not “pretty” or “handsome” enough, I hope this post will help you think differently.

How to be more attractive
Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash

Before we continue, I just want to point out that I understand that each person lives in specific socio-political contexts, so although I try to be helpful, it’s up to you to use your judgment when looking for information on the internet. Understand what applies to your own situation, and what doesn’t. Sometimes, you have to take some, and leave some. 

Now, without further ado, let’s get to it. 

How can you be more attractive without going for more makeup or skimpy clothes?

how to be more attractive

1. An open demeanor

You know what? If it’s written all over your face “don’t talk to me”, well guess what? People won’t talk to you.

And you don’t have to say anything for people for them to reach that conclusion. It’s all about the vibes you give off.

So, if you want to attract more people, then mind your facial expressions, your posture, your thoughts, the way you walk… They all reflect on the outside and right now, they may well be telling people to f*ck off.

I’m not telling you to change things about yourself if you don’t want to. I’m telling you to be more self-aware so you can understand better why your life is the way it is.

If you’re happy pushing people away, then by all means keep doing what you do. But if you are reading this then I’m assuming that’s not what you want. And if that’s the case, keep reading.

2. Eye contact

Ever notice how most people on the street avoid eye contact like it’s the plague? Oh, you haven’t noticed that? Were you too busy avoiding eye contact?

I’m not saying you should stare at every person that comes your way like a creep.

But let’s say you are crossing paths with someone at a street corner, there’s very little space for the both of you and they politely let you go first. Well, don’t pretend they don’t exist!

Some people will almost break their necks trying to look away to avoid eye contact. God, I hate it when people do that. That’s just plain rude.

Photo by Tom Roberts on Unsplash

Actually look at them and acknowledge their presence and/or gesture. Or better yet, look at them, smile, and let them go first.

Whatever! Just don’t be an ass and pretend like you are not seeing the person that is literally standing 2 feet away from you.

It’s called being present to the world and people around you.

I know, I know. You are “socially awkward”. But you know what? That’s never a good enough reason to be rude.

3. Posture – Chin up

My ballet teacher used to say (I think the right word is “scream”) 100 times per day: “Ladies! Stomach in, shoulders back, chest out, chin up!”.

She was onto something, and after about 20 years of rebelling, I’m now back to the roots…

Tony Robbins is right: your posture does impact your mindset. And I think your mindset influences the energy and general vibes you put out in the world.

So, watch yourself and watch your posture. Yes, you might have to adjust about 158 times per day. But it’s normal. It will slowly become a new habit.

Repeat after me: shoulders back! Chin up!

Beauty_be more attractive

4. The subtle smile/side smirk, as if there’s a secret only you know

Do you suffer from the resting bitch-face syndrome?

Because I do.

Again, nothing wrong with that. If you love your bitch-face and don’t mind people running away from you or commenting on it all the time, then finish this article (or not), and move on to something else. Thanks for stopping by, btw.

But if, like me, you get tired of people always telling you how mean you look when that’s not how you feel at all inside, and you want people to come to you a bit more, then there is a way to “fix” that.

And that “way” is, the barely-there side-smirk.

I said “barely”. You know, Harvey Specter-style?

Harvey Specter, from Suits. Source: Swagger Magazine

Ever noticed how he always seems to know something you don’t? I bet he doesn’t have resting bitch-face.

Now, I’m not telling you to slap on a forced, permanent fake smile, and walk around town like this. I’m telling you to start cultivating more positive thoughts that will naturally lead you to have a “lighter” facial expression.

And let’s be honest here, when you have happy thoughts, it reflects on your face doesn’t it?

So, this is not just about minding your face. It’s about minding your thoughts.

Which brings us to my next point.

5. Mind your thoughts

I refer you to the previous argument here.

6. Show respect and kindness to others

Do you know what makes people respond very positively to you? When they feel like you treat them as human beings worthy of attention and respect.

Seriously. It’s often as simple as acknowledging the people present in a room when you walk in, saying “Hello” and “Thank you”, striving to be courteous at all times and to everyone.

And for God’s sake, don’t treat some people better than others because of their “rank”, salary or other meaningless reasons.  

7. Show respect and kindness to yourself

One thing that makes you more attractive to other people is when you demonstrate love and respect to yourself.

Nothing is less attractive to others, than someone who keeps putting themselves down or who lives in a constant state of self-loathing.

If you don’t show love and respect to yourself, people will find it hard to behave in a loving and respectful manner towards you.

Do you want others to think you are awesome and treat you as such? Then start thinking of yourself as an awesome person, and start treating yourself as such.

Related posts:

Don’t beat yourself up after a relapse. Do this instead

How can you love your body when you hate your looks?

8. Do not put yourself down (in front of other people)

Do not put yourself down, period. But you shouldn’t say bad things about yourself or criticize yourself or your abilities in front of other people either.

You might think that belittling yourself or denigrating yourself in front of others makes you appear friendlier or perhaps more humble (?) but it doesn’t.

In reality, all it does is create (or reinforce) a negative image of yourself in other people’s mind (and yours, for that matter), and it definitely does not contribute to making you more attractive.

It’s just plain self-sabotage, and what this does is tell people that you are not worthy of their respect.

And so, as a tactic to manipulate people into liking you, self-deprecation, especially if done in a “funny, ha-ha” way, might work for a second, mayyyybe (?) But the longer-term possible damages are really not worth it.

After all, if you behave like this with yourself and don’t respect yourself, why shouldn’t other people behave like this with you?

9. Be confident, as if the soundtrack to your life is playing in your head, and it’s gooood

Confidence, in a way, is the result (or an aggregate?) of the things mentioned above.

A confident person does not feel threatened by others or scared. They are not afraid to look people in the eyes, be courteous and kind to them, and show them respect no matter what. And that’s because they know that behaving like this will not take anything away from them, on the contrary.

Confident people are self-aware, they are not afraid to be who they are and, again, other people can feel that.

Perhaps they can’t tell exactly what it is they find so attractive in you, but they certainly feel the attraction.

Ever watched this SNL sketch called Why is Benedict Cumberbatch Hot? (He is so hot).

Go ahead, have a laugh (or not), and take some notes.

Why is Bennedict Cumberbatch Hot? – SNL

10. Find the right haircut for you

Seriously though, you will not believe how much a simple haircut can make or break your look.

I spent the last 13 years “struggling” with my appearance and my hair until I shaved it all off. And BAM! I suddenly looked and felt a million times more attractive.

Related post: 13 surprising things that happened after shaving my hair

And you know what? Even if other people didn’t agree with that statement, I did and that’s all that matters because afterward, I felt better in my skin.

And people pick up on that.

HAppy woman who is more atractive and charming

11. Know your best features and showcase them

I never wear make-up, but I will usually wear colored lip-balm because it adds “life” to my face and makes my eyes come out a bit more. And I (humbly) think I have “nice” eyes.

Again, just my opinion here and I’m not trying to sound full of myself. But it’s your opinion about you that matters the most because it then reflects on your self-confidence (your posture, the way you interact with others, etc.), and what you project to the outside world.

Do you know what your best features are? Is it your hair? Your flawless skin? Your legs?

Whatever it is, own it, and if you don’t know what your best feature is yet, then it’s time to find out.

12. Improve or care for, don’t cover

How to be more attractive
Photo by Aiony Haust on Unsplash

This one “transcends” categories as it has to do with many things: clothes, make-up, perfume, whatever.

For example, if you like your eyes, then don’t cover them under a thick layer of make-up!

Just leave them alone. But make sure you take care of them and give them some love: brush your eyebrows, get enough sleep to avoid dark rings under your eyes, wear a transparent mascara, or simply use an eyelash curler, etc.

Related post: My 11 secrets to naturally glowing skin all year long

13. Hygiene and body odor

You don’t have to do anything fancy, but I find that having a nice scent definitely helps with attraction.

I am not talking about overpowering perfumes (ugh, please don’t).

People don’t realize it but often simply being clean, wearing clean and freshly washed clothes, and using a good deodorant, represent 95% of what you need to have a “nice scent” and, well, be more attractive.

And this goes for both men and women.

Guys always think that girls adore their cologne because it reminds them of the man they love/like. You know what? It’s not your cologne that drives them crazy, it is your scent that they smell through or that mixes with the cologne.

Don’t cover your scent. Enhance your scent, i.e., be clean.

14. Find your style

Find your style
Image from Canva

We seem to think that looking nice and attractive has to do with wearing trendy clothes.

The problem is that 1) you end up blending with the masses (no very good for getting noticed), and 2) it’s a missed opportunity for showing your uniqueness and expressing your personality.

Screw the trends! Embrace your style, and if you don’t know yet what your style is, then it’s worth looking for it. Try things out and experiment.

Thrift stores are great for this, especially if you don’t want to break the bank.

Give special attention to blazers and accessories such as hats, scarves, vintage bags, jewelry, etc. And don’t forget to venture into the men’s section (if you’re a lady), you can find real treasures there.

Dare to try things.

Related article: How to stop caring what other people think?

15. Don’t strive to attract everyone; attraction is HIGHLY subjective

Forget the middle. The middle is boring. Be unique.

When you are bland, people don’t notice you, or barely. But when you are different, people are forced to see you, and forced to make a judgment: “I like/I don’t like”.

I know it may seem scary, but it’s way less scary than you think. When people don’t like your style, most people are polite and don’t say anything. But when they do like it, people will more often than not tell you.

Besides, wouldn’t you rather attract someone who actually likes your true self rather than the watered-down version of you?

16. Know when to leave

When to leave
Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

And finally, no matter how nice it may be to receive some positive attention, it’s important to know when to leave.

Do you know what makes you even more attractive? When people think about you when you are not there.

Related article: Why you are so needy and how to stop.

I’m not saying that you should play games. I’m saying don’t overstay your welcome just because someone is attracted to you.

Acknowledge the attention, reply, or not, then go about your day.

What do you find attractive in others?

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About Steph

I am a personal growth/self-management enthusiast. I was able to completely transform my life using everything I share here. I hope this blog helps you transform yours as well.
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