Mindset

How do you receive more love when there’s no one around?

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If you’re looking for ways to receive more love in your life, I’ve got news for you: the key is to give more love. There. That’s it. You know the secret now, show’s over, we can all go home.

Okay, enough playing around. I’m assuming if you want more love in your life, it’s probably because right now you feel like no one loves you or you have no one to love. So when I say you receive more love by giving more love, it’s sounds nice and all, but it also feels impossible doesn’t it?

How exactly do you give more love when you live far from all the people you love, when you feel alone in the world, or feel like you have no one to love?

Well, there are still ways to give love, even when it feels like you have no one to love.

Today, it feels like I have an abundance of love around me but less than a year ago, it didn’t feel this way at all.

I was solitary, lonely, and thirsty for love. But I had none. I didn’t have many friends (if any), didn’t get along so well with my coworkers (I did, but something was… off), and had been feeling completely abandoned by my family for the past 7-8 years. The worst part is, I had just broken up with my boyfriend of almost 5 years, and little did I know, a few months later, we would be amid a global pandemic that would leave me social distancing on my own (going on 13 months now, at the date of writing this).

Well, don’t despair. It turns out you don’t necessarily need to buy a plane ticket to go be with family abroad or lament over the fact that you don’t have any friends to give and receive more love. Although, if the absence of friends bothers you, you should work on making new friends or rebuilding past relationships.

Related post: How do you build more meaningful relationships?

Instead of waiting for love or expecting people to give it to you, start giving love

You don’t necessarily need to be with more people to feel less lonely, at least not in the way you think. And it’s up to you to receive more love in your life, even if you don’t have friends (yet) or family around you.

The truth is, you can work with what you have right now, even if at first it doesn’t seem like much.

I know this because, although I was forced to isolate myself even more, I began feeling an abundance of love all around me. Instead of feeling lonelier, it was the opposite.

Give love to the animals around you

If you have no one to love, why not give some love to the animals in your neighborhood?

There are many dog owners in my neighborhood, so there is always a dog willing to sniff your hand or let you pet him. If you smile at the owner and the dog and keep an open demeanor, they often both simply come to you. Well, the dog will!

For weeks, even months, the only love I received was from dogs letting me pet them and during that time, these were the happiest moments of my days.

Abundance of love-animals
Photo by Alex Lauzon on Unsplash

Where I live there are also squirrels, crows, sparrows, robins, ducks. Do you know which kind of animals hang out in your area? Have you ever paid attention?

I started hanging out with squirrels. Around here, they are pretty curious and friendly. I avoid feeding them though because they tend to climb up your leg.

I also started putting water or feed on my balcony for the birds. It took a few months, but they eventually started to come.

I even tried being more friendly to the insects I would occasionally find in my apartment. That was scarier for me. But I still tried.

It may sound silly to you, but after a while, a shift happens in your head. As if you could see the harmony in the world.

Animals are living beings just like humans. You can connect with them. And I believe that we humans love connecting with other beings. We may not acknowledge it or even be aware of it, but we crave connections.

And it is easier to connect with other beings when you respect them, get to know them… and feed them.

Give love to plants and trees

At first, this made me very self-conscious, but I eventually got over it.

I now pat trees when I walk by them as if they were large dogs. I hug them sometimes. If you don’t people to think you are crazy, you can wait until later in the evening or very early in the morning. You can also simply lean on a tree and casually wrap your arm around it to make it less apparent.

But, seriously, it’s easy to give more love to trees and plants. Hang out with them; sit under them; look at them and notice their beauty, how they move in the wind. Get to know the distinctive features of their trunks, the shape of their leaves. Notice which ones turn yellow, red, or brown in the fall.

Give-more-love-trees
Image from Canva

Trees are kind and generous. Why be ashamed to love them?

They cast their cool shadow on us every day without expecting anything in return, except our respect. They provide housing to birds, squirrels, insects…

Sometimes I talk to them in my head; I tell them how beautiful they are.

Call me crazy, but I think plants and trees communicate with us too, in their own way.

Now, if I have no one to talk to (although now I do), trees calm me down when I’m sad, or anxious.

And the best part is, I started to notice other people doing the same! I see people patting trees, looking at them, and even hugging them. Yes, it happens, more often than you think.

I swear, it’s things like this that make you love mankind a little more.

Give love to the people you meet daily

Do you notice the people you walk by every day? They could use some love too.

I’m talking about the people you see in your neighborhood, those who provide you a service. Smile at them, wish them a good morning. Notice your neighbors, your landlord, the joggers, bus driver, people cleaning the parks, etc. Acknowledge their presence.

A simple smile can bring warmth to another person’s day, instead of wallowing in the absence of love in your life.

By doing this, I became friends with my neighbors, my baker, and the local barber. One person even interrupted their morning jog one day to tell me that this simple daily smile made a difference in their day.

I know it makes my day when a stranger acknowledges me in the street with a simple head nod or a friendly “good morning”.

Don’t be afraid to spread some love to strangers.

It’s good for their mood, and yours.

Give love to those family members you’ve probably been ignoring just as much as they’ve been ignoring you

Here’s the thing: there is a good chance that other people feel just as love deprived as you do. You are just too focused on me, me, me to notice.

You know, that sick old aunt who lives alone in her big apartment? Give her a call just to say hi. It will make her day and yours.

Give-receive-love-family
Image by Shashank Kumawat from Pexels

You gain a lot more by giving love to others, instead of sitting in your corner waiting for them to give you some. And when they say that what you send out comes back to you, it’s true! I’ve received all the love I’ve given 10-fold. And ever since I started focusing on giving more love, I now feel an abundance of love in my life.  

Are you feeling love-deprived?

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About Steph

I am a personal growth/self-management enthusiast. I was able to completely transform my life using everything I share here. I hope this blog helps you transform yours as well.
View all posts by Steph →

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